Break me Please just break me in two
by xxSianLouxx
Summary: Broken and beautiful challenge. Hermione deals with the after effects of a Death Eater attack. She appears to be broken, however Sirius knows that she is strong enough to carry on. Will he alone be able to make her see sense? R&R Please x x x
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or anything of J K Rowling. The plots however are all mine. X X X

Hermione needed space, having been confined in the dungeons at Malfoy Manor kept as a prisoner and now at Grimmauld Place for her own protection it was all beginning to get a bit overwhelming. After the horrific events that transpired whilst incarcerated, Hermione had found that she was unable to really come to terms with everything, what with the constant work to be done, the non-stop fighting, people coming and going. People. The incessant chatter that filled her head until she thought it would explode. People often mistook her demeanour as melancholy and tried their hardest to cheer up the poor girl up. Harry and Ron barely leaving her side, Molly Weasley fussing over her relentlessly. She just wanted some peace and quiet were she could just let go, cry until there was no more tears to be shed.

When the opportunity arose she grasped it with both hands and fled to the serenity of the library. Falling onto the settee, she screamed out all her frustrations into one of the scattered musky cushions. Crawling onto her side she curled up into a ball and let the tears flow. Sobbing uncontrollably she failed to hear the soft footsteps enter the room. Through her tears she failed to see the kind and gentle face that appeared before her. Kneeling so that he was eye level with Hermione, he brushed her tears from her cheek. This young woman, who had seemed so strong and beautiful now lay on his settee broken. The scene before him was enough to tear at his heart strings. _Broken but so strong, She'll mend. She has to. _He thought to himself. Hermione jumped up at the feel of his hand on her check.

''Sirius, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the order meeting with the others?'' She said shakily raising from the couch and standing before the mantel place, her back turned from him, in order to try and regain some of her composure. For a moment all was silent. _Perhaps he has gone? _She thought turning around she was faced with a broad toned chest.

''You're beautiful when you cry.'' He stood a whole foot taller than her, his voice was soft. Looking up at him she scowled.

''Please don't call me beautiful. I can't stand it.'' She felt a rush of anger run through her veins. _How dare he? Beautiful, m__y arse! '_'How can I be beautiful when I have nothing left? No family, money, looks, memory. I have nothing to offer, they took everything from me!!'' Her head was spinning. Moving to leave she felt a hand gently take hold of hers.

''Don't go. Please stay.'' His voice was calm but with a pinch of desperation deep inside it, which made her stop dead in her tracks. Tugging on her hand, he pulled her back over to the settee. "Please just sit with me?" Hermione nodded silently and sat down next to him. The settee was small and their legs brushed, the contact making her flinch. They'd taken away her innocence, her confidence, her ease around the opposite sex. Those bastard rapists of Death Eaters had taken everything from her. How she wanted them to pay. It was awhile before either of them spoke.

"Being broken can be beautiful." Sirius whispered taking her hand and holding onto it tightly, so she could not snatch it away. She made to move again but Sirius was stronger and held her in place. "Please just listen. I know you feel they have taken everything away from you, but they haven't your still here. Alive and your health is getting better everyday. You still have your friends and your life in front of you. I know it doesn't quite feel like that at the moment, but your stronger than you think 'Mione. I know you have the strength to overcome everything and anything that comes your way. They haven't broken you yet." Hermione let the sob that was building in her chest tear through her. Her body shuddering violently as she cried.

"If this is me whole, break me. Break me in two- please, do it. I can't stand to be whole anymore Sirius." Hermione sobbed. Sirius looked at the young women before him. _Oh Hermione if only I could. _He drew her up into his arms and held her, brushing her tears away, soothing her until her sobs ceased and all that could be heard was the laboured breathing of a sleeping angel. His broken angel. His wife.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all your comments. I have to admit I really enjoyed writing this one-shot and am quite tempted to actually continue with it. I am a bit short of ideas however, so any ideas will be appreciated. Sian xxx


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or anything of J K Rowling. The plots however are all mine. X X X

Sirius sat on the couch and stared into the flames of the fireplace. The fire mirrored his emotions. He was ablaze with a fury and a pain that burned and ignited with every breath he took. He looked down at his sleeping Wife. His wife who could not even remember how special their life together had been. Who wanted so much to throw away all her memories in order to forget that horrific night. Who thought her life was over and wished it to be so. He held her so close, as his fears began to break from the place he had locked them away. In Hermione's presence he had to be strong, but now as she slept his heart broke. How could someone want to break someone so sweet, so forgiving, so dear to him. He sobbed over her sleeping form, brushing her hair from her face.

Harry stood in the doorway to the library and watched the broken couple. He didn't know exactly what had happened to his dear friend, from the way everyone was acting and the scene in front of him, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. All he wanted to know is who was involved. Clearing his throat to catch Sirius' attention, he entered the library.

"Sirius, she'll get past this. She's strong, but she needs you to be stronger for her." Harry said as she walked round the back of the couch and rested a hand on his Godfathers shoulder. He looked down at the slumbering form of Hermione and smiled sadly, she looked so peaceful asleep there, her head resting on Sirius lap. "Come on we'll take her up to your room and then I'll get you a strong drink."

Sirius nodded and moved gently, lifting Hermione's head of his lap and placing it gently on the couch. Then bending down, he placed one arm under her legs and supported her head with his other arm. Moving slowly her exited the library and carried her up the three flights of stairs to the master bedroom. Their bedroom, the one they had shared as husband and wife. Had shared, now Sirius slept across the hall, close enough to be with her, when she needed him and enough space for her to begin the process of healing. It killed him that when he touched her, tried to hold her, love her, she flinched. Be it involuntary most of the time, but for that second when the blind panic and hurt flashed through her golden orbs, his walls crashed and he was once again left cold angry and heart broken. Harry held the door to the bedroom open for Sirius, he then walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers. Sirius laid Hermione down gently. Harry then took his leave to make them a strong night cap.

Sirius walked over to the dresser and opened a draw, collecting Hermione's favourite and most comfortable pyjamas, he walked back over to the bed. Lifting her feet of the mattress, he softly removed her shoes one by one. He then began to gently tug of her linen trousers and blouse. Sitting her up he pulled her pyjamas down over her head. As he rested her head back down onto the pillows, her eyes opened sleepily.

"Sirius?" she asked, trying to sit up. He shushed her and kissed her on her forehead.

"Everything's alright love, just go back to sleep. I'll be across the hall." She sighed and turned over onto her side, her arms and legs coming to rest on his side of the bed. Closing the door silently Sirius left.

Crossing the hall he entered his room. Harry was sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. A bottle of fire whiskey and two glasses lay next to him. Sitting down, Sirius poured himself a glass. Sighing heavily he drank from the glass until it was empty, and began pouring another.

"Sirius, is that such a great idea?" Harry asked, concern filling his voice. When Sirius had returned from the veil, by means only known to him and his sleeping wife. He had struggled to recommit to society, often found alone in Buckbeak's old room, heavily drunk and brooding. His temper was always sour and black. Hermione had been his only ray of light, as she brought him out of his depression, slowly and ruthlessly, patiently and aggressively. There were many times when the two's tempers had clashed and the occupants of Grimmauld Place had retreated to their rooms, so as to not be caught in the middle of the warring friends. But their friendship soon turned into a mutual understanding, which had blossomed and as time past the understanding began to transform into deeper and more intimate feelings. Sirius had cut down on his drinking ever since, drinking only to celebrate, to relax, never to brood.

"I know Harry, but I don't know what else to do. I cant seem to break through to her, its like she's lost to me." Sirius hung his head to hide the glistening tears that had begun to shed. "I'm so torn, I want to go out and hunt down every bastard that played a part in her attack, but I know that she wouldn't want that. Her and her blasted ability to forgive everyone and everything. I want to comfort her, but she's scared shitless of me and every other male under this roof. I mean me? I'm her husband, through the good and bad, you know? But when she flinches and that panic flashes across her face, I cant help but feel hurt, even betrayed. How sick is that, here she is struggling but still able to continue, barely but continuing in the least, and I'm feeling betrayed. Upset that she could even connect me to those sadistic bastards." Sirius shook his head and breathed heavily.

"Yes that is rather selfish Sirius, but your only human. However you need to overcome these feelings. Not just for Hermione's sake but also your own. All I can say to you is, did Hermione give up on you? When you shouted, pushed, shoved her away? No, and the man I know as my Godfather wouldn't give up on his wife either. Stick with her, she's fragile right now and she needs the love of her husband and family. As I am both of your family I will support you both, but Sirius don't let your fear of rejection get in the way. Don't let her push you away. She's in shock still and our Hermione has broken away and hidden herself inside. She just needs some gentle guidance and support." With that he turned back to his fire whiskey and stared into the fire, with nothing more to say on the matter. Sirius however had a lot of thinking to do, walking back across the hall, he hesitated before walking into the master bedroom and as he did each night took his seat next to his wife, his life, his broken angel. It was decided he would bring her out from within and fix her piece by piece.


	4. Chapter 4

_It was dark, She'd learned to hate the dark, fear the dark. It was when they came for her and they'd come time and time again. Waking her from her fuzzy drug induced sleep, only to brutalise her some more. laying on a thin mattress. The coils and springs dug and cut along her back. A hand caressed her neck before tightening the hold painfully, cutting off her air supply as they abused her body. Violating her most intimate parts so roughly she screamed out loud in agony. She soon learnt however to stifle her cries as they only excited them further. The cold metallic harshness of a blade was pressed against her check. Closing her eyes tightly against the on coming pain. Her attacker pushed the blade remorselessly into her check and drew blood. Maiming her face. She then let her tears flow. And as tears mixed with blood the dream begun to fade. _

Sirius slept lightly in the arm chair next to their marital bed. It wasn't till he heard a cry of terror that he bolted up right, wand at the ready to defend his sleeping wife. Looking around in blind panic, it took him a moment to realise that the noise had come from the form of his sleeping wife. Hermione lay on her back her arms and legs thrashing about as a nightmare over took her. Again she cried out, this time his name was heard through the sheer terror of her cry, chocking back a sob he climbed gently onto the mattress and held her close to his being. Soothing her with his voice and touch, she once again become quiet her breathing slowed and became more shallow. This was a regular occurrence and although in Hermione's day to day activities she had blocked all her memories, at night she couldn't hide from the nightmare she had survived.

''Sirius,'' she sighed gently in her sleep. The mere fact that his name was uttered upon her sweet, sweet lips, left Sirius with the warm feeling of hope. All was silent for a moment and Sirius hugged her closer relishing in the feel of his wife in his arms. It had been so long since he'd last held her like this. To long. When she spoke once again and Sirius tensed, was she awake? ''I'm so sorry,'' she murmured, turning and curling herself into his warmth. ''I love you'' her voice was soft barely a whisper. Looking down at her appearance it was obvious the witch was still deeply asleep. It wasn't too long until Sirius too fell into the lull of exhaustion.

Hermione woke to the sun shinning through the thin curtains. It was later than she would normally have arisen, yawning she stretched out the stiffness of her still tiresome body. Feeling the warmth of a body next to her she froze. Closing her eyes she fought off the scream that threatened to escape her throat. She wouldn't let them take her again, not from her friends, her family, not from Sirius. Adrenaline kicked in and rolling to her side she reached under the pillow for her wand. Once allocating her wand she sent a spark at the intruder, who immediately jumped out of bed cursing Hermione.

Hermione bolted upright and sprung to the opposite side of the bedroom, wand still drawn. Panic over took her body and her hands began to tremble. She looked around looking for an exit but seeing her only way out blocked by the stranger she cursed her stupidity. Sinking to the floor dejectedly she admitted defeat.

Sirius swore under his breath, he'd fallen into a comfortable sleep, content in sharing a bed with his love. But his stupidity had spooked her. Holding his arms up to show he was unarmed. He spoke softly to the wild looking witch who had huddled into the corner.

"Hermione? It's only me, Sirius." he whispered moving slowly closer, so not to spook her any further. "I didn't mean to scare you. You were having a nightmare, I tried to comfort you and fell asleep. I would never harm you. On my life 'Mione." He was standing closer know and could see she had her eyes closed. Fighting off the fear and instinct to fight not flee, her wand was still drawn, as though unsure she was safe. He shifted closer towards her, gently placing his hand on her arm, he lowered the wand. Upon contact she broke down.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius. I'm Sorry." She cried into her arms as she tried to block her face from his view. Taking her small hands in his larger one, he brought his other hand up to her chin. Lifting her face up to his, he kissed her forehead gently.

"You never have to worry bout me 'Mione, I'd never hurt you. Stop apologising, I should be the one apologising not you. I should have taken more care of you." Hermione leaned into his embrace, a sudden wash of comfort and familiarity washed over her and somehow she knew she belonged here in his embrace. Somewhere deep inside Hermione was ready to heal and let a small part of her Husband back in. She let Sirius lead her back to the bed where he lay down beside her, as he held her in his arms, Hermione's sobs quietened until her breathing became deep and shallow again. It wasn't till later on in the evening when she awoke again.

Turning onto her side she found Sirius still asleep, even as he slept peacefully she could see the signs of fatigue around his eyes. Why was it this man whom had never before had time for her, was now here for her in every dark moment? This dark strange, kind and loving man. This escaped convict, this loyal but destroyed man. Hermione had always found him interesting and couldn't help but watch the him with intrigue, but as she watched him, she couldn't help but feel she knew more about this man than she could bare to imagine. Like the small half crescent shaped scar above his left nipple came from a lover. Hermione blushed as the little anecdote popped into her head. No she couldn't recall which of Sirius' lovers had caused the scar and as she traced it with her finger tips, she didn't notice how the mark above his heart fit perfectly with her own nail. Like a lock and key that would eventually reopen her heart.


End file.
